So, you have decided that you are interested in exploring the world of Dominant/submissive (D/s) power dynamics. Congratulations! D/s can be an incredibly enriching, exciting, and beneficial way to add some spice to your sex life. However, before diving headfirst into this type of play, it’s important to sit down with your partner and discuss your boundaries, needs, and expectations. This is where a Dominant/submissive BDSM contract comes in. These contracts can add an extra level of excitement to your sex life, and can be a fun way to explore your dominance and submission fantasies.
Some people might think that the dominant/submissive contract is all about sex, but that’s not always the case. In fact, for some people, it’s a way to have a deeper connection with their partner. If you’re curious about dominant/submissive contracts and want to know more, keep reading! I will cover everything you need to know. Let’s not make you wait any longer and get straight to the point.
Signing My First BDSM Contract | My Experience
When my partner and I first started exploring our kinky sides, we knew that we wanted to create a Dominant/submissive contract. This document would outline our roles, expectations, and boundaries in order to maintain a healthy and consensual power dynamic. We spent hours researching different contract templates and discussing what would work best for us. In the end, we created a document that spelled out our individual roles and responsibilities.
We also included a section on safe words and limits, as well as a list of activities that we were both comfortable with. Signing the contract was a solemn and significant moment for us, and it has helped to keep our relationship strong and dynamic.
Why You Might Need a D/s Contract
There are a few different reasons why you might want to consider creating a D/s contract.
First, it can help to set clear boundaries and expectations for both partners. This can be especially helpful if you are just starting out in your D/s relationship and are still getting a feel for what each other likes and doesn’t like. Having a contract can also help to prevent any misunderstandings or hurt feelings down the road.
Another reason to consider a contract is that it can help add an extra layer of excitement and anticipation to your relationship. Drawing up the contract can be seen as a bit of an erotic game in itself, and then both partners can get turned on thinking about all the fun they’ll have exploring their new dynamic.
Finally, a D/s contract can simply be seen as a way to formalize your relationship. Much like a traditional marriage contract, a D/s contract can be viewed as a way to show your commitment to each other and solidify your bond.
How Do I Create an Official Dominant/Submissive Contract?
Creating a D/s contract is easy! Just follow these simple steps:
- Sit down with your partner and discuss your wants, needs, and limits. What are your hard limits? What are you willing to explore? What are your boundaries? Make sure that both partners are on the same page before moving forward.
- Once you have discussed your wants and needs, it’s time to start drafting the contract. Write out each point that you want addressed in the contract, making sure to be as specific as possible. For example, if you want your partner to call you “Sir” or “Ma’am,” be sure to include that in the contract. If there are any activities that are off-limits, make sure those are included as well. The more specific you are in the contract, the better!
- Once you have everything written out, it’s time to sign on the dotted line! Make sure everyone involved reads over the contract carefully before signing it. Once everyone has signed it, put it away in a safe place where it can be accessed if needed.
- That’s it! You have now officially entered into a D/s relationship with clear expectations, boundaries, and rules laid out between both parties
What Should Be Included in Your D/s Contract?
There are certain elements that should be included to ensure that both parties are on the same page and fully understand their rights and responsibilities within the relationship. Here are some of the key elements to consider when drafting your D/s contract.
The contract should include the legal name, title (e.g. Sir, Mistress, Daddy), and any other relevant monikers used by the Dominant. It should also clearly state the nature of the relationship (e.g. 24/7, part-time, play only, etc.) as well as its duration (e.g. 6 months, 1 year, indefinitely).
Similar to the Dominant section, this part of the contract should include the submissive’s legal name and any relevant titles or monikers used by them. It should also specify what kind of relationship they are looking for as well as its approximate duration.
Roles & Responsibilities
This section is where you will outline each party’s specific roles and responsibilities within the D/s relationship. For example, if you are entering into a 24/7 power exchange relationship, this is where you would specify who is responsible for what tasks (e.g. cooking, cleaning, bill paying, etc.) on a daily basis.
Other important details to consider including here are things like curfew or bedtime hours, communication protocols (e.g. how and when demands will be made), and rules around social media use or third-party interactions.
Hard & Soft Limits
A hard limit is something that is non-negotiable for either party under any circumstances; it is an absolute “no.” On the other hand, a soft limit is something that may be negotiable under certain circumstances. It is not an absolute “no,” but rather a “maybe” or “let’s talk about it.” It’s important to note that hard limits can become soft limits over time as trust is built and the dynamics of the relationship evolve. However, soft limits should never become hard limits without explicit consent from both parties involved.
Some common examples of hard and soft limits include:
- Hard limit: no contact with exes
- Soft limit: openness to trying new things sexually
- Hard limit: no filming or photography without consent
- Soft limit: no blood play
- Hard limit: no public humiliation
- Soft limit:only giving orders during sex
It should be signed by both parties involved as well as any witnesses present for mutual protection and legal purposes prior to engaging in any type of play. If you plan on including acts that could potentially result in serious injury or death (eccentric medical play, edgeplay scenes involving suspension bondage or knives, etc.), it is recommended that you consult with a lawyer beforehand to ensure that all bases are covered legally speaking in case of an accident.
Breaking the Dominant/submissive Contract: What to Do Next
No relationship is perfect. But when you establish a Dominant/submissive BDSM Contract, you and your partner are agreeing to a set of rules and guidelines that are meant to make your relationship stronger. Though it’s not common, there may come a time when either you or your partner breaks one of the provisions in the contract. If this should happen, here are some things you can do to try and salvage the situation.
1. Talk to your partner about your feelings
If you are feeling unhappy with the state of your relationship, the first thing you should do is talk to your partner about it. It’s possible that they are feeling the same way. May be two of you can come to an agreement about how to move forward. However, if your partner is not willing to negotiate or compromise, then terminating the contract may be the best option for both of you.
2. Consider what aspects of the contract are no longer working for you
It is important to take some time to reflect on what parts of the contract are no longer working for you and why. This will help you communicate your needs to your partner and will also help you figure out what kind of relationship you are looking for moving forward.
3. Determine if there is anything left to salvage
Once you have identified the aspects of the contract that are no longer working for you, determine if there is anything left that could be salvaged. For example, if you are unhappy with the level of communication in your relationship, but everything else is going well, then perhaps all you need to do is renegotiate that aspect of the BDSM contract. On the other hand, if there are multiple areas of dissatisfaction, then it may be time to terminate the contract entirely.
4. End your D/s Dynamic altogether
In some cases, breaking the contract can mean that the D/s dynamic itself is no longer working for either of you. If this is the case, it might be best to end things altogether. This doesn’t have to be permanent. You can always revisit things down the road if you find that you miss the dynamic. But for now, it might be best to move on and explore other aspects of your relationship.
Remember that just because something isn’t working out doesn’t mean that it was a bad experience. It just means that it didn’t work out in this particular instance. And who knows? Perhaps in the future, you will find yourself in a new relationship with different dynamics that does work out beautifully!
The Bottom Line
I hope you like my personal experience and the BDSM sample contract to provide a framework for creating your own dominant/submissive contract. Remember that this contract is not legally binding and only helps to set boundaries between partners. Be sure to discuss all aspects of the contract with your partner before entering into any type of BDSM relationship. This way both parties give full consent to all aspects of the relationship.