I’m Falling in Love With my Submissive | What Should I Do?

Submissive In A Relationship

It’s not uncommon to develop feelings for your submissive. After all, you spend a lot of time with them and you have a special bond.  You may admire their strength, their vulnerability, or their obedience. But what do you do if you find yourself falling in love with your submissive?

The first thing you need to decide is whether or not you should tell them how you feel. If you think they might reciprocate your feelings, then it might be worth telling them. However, if you’re not sure how they would feel or if they might not be ready for a committed relationship, then it might be best to keep your feelings to yourself for now. We will have to wait to experience the feeling of being submissive in a relationship with us for an appropriate time. Today, I will tell you what you can do if you find yourself falling in love with your submissive and how to approach different scenarios. 

Submissive Love? Time for Reasoning and Compliments 

Submissive love always encumbers with a lot of devotion. They feel happy doing our chores, and following orders. A day-long activity of following instructions is usually curtailed with you complimenting them. This complement is usually followed by a series of humiliations. The submissive love only grows when such events play out over and over. Sounds familiar right?  

submissive love

Now, to talk about some other ongoing practicalities that must be taken note of. I think this probably holds for all submissives in a relationship. The aspect of being submissive in a relationship is something I understood a few years back. This was the time when I started to have feelings beyond submissive love restricted to sessions of play. They might enjoy the temporary fleeting role. I remember a partner who always showed deep signs of submissive love, said to me. “I don’t love you, I love the way we have sex.” This might be the theme, for a lot of submissives in relationships temporarily with their dominants.   

When they are probably searching over the internet, how to be submissive? There is the possibility they are just longing to realize their desire. 

Submissive in a Relationship 

The underlying working component, I started with, is my pursuit of submissive love. This process is not that out of the box. Pay attention, while the submissive is at their trying best on how to be submissive. Understand their desires, and see what they find sexy. For many submissive, dominant love is when we tie them up and they can place their entire trust in us. I duly believe we also probably need to understand if we are in love with the affection of submissive love. Or do we want to be submissive in a relationship? Well, you can play some domination games in bed and decide who is better with what.

submissive in a relationship

Take actions slowly out of sessions of play. For some, the usual chocolates and roses work just as fine. For others buying sex toys together, and being out and about in the public. Showing appreciation of submissive love can push a bit of a step forward toward you being submissive in a relationship. Writing names on sex toys is also very cute by the way. I got a lot of submissive love doing that, let’s just say.  

What Would Happen If Things Didn’t Work Out?

Another thing to consider is what would happen if things didn’t work out between the two of you. If you’re just starting your relationship, then it’s probably not a big deal. However, if you’ve been together for a while, then it could be more difficult. Make sure you’re prepared for the possibility that things might not work out before you take the plunge and tell them how you feel. 

At the cost of repeating myself, I am writing this again. There is no point in losing the entire submissive love while chasing to be with them in a relationship. There is every possibility your submissive is not the person you may want to be with.  Much like everything else in the world, there needs to be a perspective when affections don’t go our way.  

The Balance of Power 

The balance of power is an inherent point of conversation in the universe of BDSM. Where do the boundaries lie and do the boundaries start? 

You need to consider your submissive partner’s feelings. Despite all their submissive love for you, they may not be ready for a romantic relationship. They may not be interested in you that way. It’s important to respect their wishes and boundaries. If you’re unsure about what they’re thinking, have a conversation with them about it. Many submissives are happy to talk about their feelings and desires with their Dominant. Conversations can help in creating a better picture of where both of you are at. Is the idea of being submissive in relationship interests at all at the table? 

The Balance of Power | Submissive Love

Finally, you need to think about what this would mean for your dynamic. Would it change the balance of power between you? Would it make things more difficult? If you’re not sure, it might be best to err on the side of caution and keep your feelings to yourself for now. If your partner is new and is busy trying out ways to be a good submissive, the aspect of manipulation comes into play. Inexperience combined with the inherent power dynamic is a breeding ground for manipulation. Don’t be that person. Do you want to be submissive in a relationship with your dominant partner through that means? Such beginnings always end up with poetic justice anyway. 

The Bottom Line | What to Do? 

If you find yourself falling in love with your submissive, there are a few things you need to consider before acting on those feelings. First, remember that a Dominant/submissive relationship is not the same as a traditional romantic one. Second, think about your submissive’s feelings and make sure you respect their wishes and boundaries. 

Submissive love doesn’t imply you end up dehumanizing the partner. And finally, think about what this would mean for your dynamic and whether or not it would change the balance of power between you two. And, also think if such changes and hypotheticals are worth hedging your bet for. That is what you are willing to risk for a chance to be submissive in a relationship. If you’re unsure about any of these things, it might be best to keep your feelings to yourself for now and revisit the issue at a later date.

Lewis Joshua

Lewis Joshua is an author, sex educator, and BDSM expert. He has been working in the industry for over 10 years, helping people to understand the nuances of sexual exploration and empowerment. Lewis has written several books on the topic of sex toys and BDSM, which have become highly regarded in the industry due to their comprehensive content and insightful look into these complex topics. His work has been featured in numerous publications. As a public speaker, he regularly conducts workshops on issues related to sexual health and education. He is passionate about spreading knowledge on how to use sex toys safely while still having fun with them. His mission is to create safe spaces for everyone to explore their sexuality comfortably and confidently.

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