The Bondage play party: Popularly known as the holy grail of kinky communities, a play party with a gathering of like-minded, experimental individuals who are into BDSM. At this formal or informal gathering, people form groups and enjoy doing kinky things to one another while other people can choose to watch. Usually done in a private area that’s closed to the public, it might seem hard to find and gain entrance to a kinky play party. However, once you are a part of the local community, you’re going to see the opportunities to enjoy this unique type of sexual experience everywhere you look.

Going to a play party for the first time can be intimidating, though. For a first-timer, it can get a lot to soak in at first as it is a sexually-charged environment where you have no idea what the standards or customs are. Play parties aren’t that scary, and they actually can turn out to be a lot of fun. Find everything you need to know about going to a play party in the article below.

What is a Play Party?

As discussed earlier, Play parties are kink get-togethers for people to find like-minded and like-kinked individuals or groups so that they can experiment with stuff sexually. These BDSM Play Parties are not high on sex as they mostly focus more on the kink part of it. There are different kinds of Play Parties like Public and Private Play Parties. Public Play parties allow just about anyone who can pay the entry fees to enter. But private play parties are more niche and for a smaller and selected crowd of people.

For a First timer, Private Play Parties work better as there are not many people which saves the overwhelming part which could be an red flag at a Public Play Party. However, Public Play Parties usually have a whole tutorial to Play Party BDSM going on, on one side. This could help you build an understanding of the whole experience. Additionally, Private Play Parties can be hard to find and enter. Let’s discuss more on how to find a Play Party in the first place.

How To Find a Play Party?

Finding a play party is step one to getting to attend one. The best way to find your local play parties is through your local BDSM groups. While some people put on private play parties in their homes, most play parties are put on by kink groups in the area. The easiest way to find a play party is through networking and knowing what’s going on in the local community.

If you are new to the whole setup and don’t have a lot of connections, there is always the Internet to be your saving grace. You can easily find out the closest BDSM groups to you on kinkster social networks like Fetlife. What if a social network doesn’t appeal to you? Well, a Google search for your location and “BDSM group” may lead to some results. However, with the nature of kink and people’s desire for privacy, a Google search may not lead to as many results as you were hoping for.

Depending on where you live, you may need to be prepared to make a bit of a drive in order to find a play party in the near future. While more kink-friendly areas may have regular bondage parties going on, if you’re in a less progressive area, a two or three-hour drive is relatively normal.

As you search for play parties, you’ll find different “types.” As you become more familiar with BDSM, you’ll be able to pick them out at a glance. Large group events will allow almost anyone to register as long as you pay the higher entrance fee. These events normally have educational courses alongside play parties. They are designed to be more like a full-service conference than an evening’s enjoyment. Smaller, more-private events may have other prerequisites before you can attend, but these types of events are designed for a single evening of fun.

Prerequisites to Attend a Play Party

Every group has its own play party requirements. You should carefully read about the requirements before attempting to RSVP for a party. Some common requirements include: attending multiple munches, being questioned by a current member about your preferences, experiences, etc. to see if you would fit in the circle; attending a new member orientation; or being an active member of another kink group.

Most groups will require an RSVP to the party after you meet the other prerequisites. This RSVP usually requires the revealing of your full, legal name as well as your scene name. It’s important as they may match your ID at the door once you arrive. Never show up to a bondage party unless invited. Always submit your RSVP if you plan on attending or be you might have to turn away from the door. This process is for all of the party goer’s safety and privacy.

What is the Right Time to Arrive?

Set this in Stone- Do Not Be Late To A Play Party! It’s not like a normal party where you can be fashionably late since the organizers mostly prefer to keep it lowkey. So they close the doors after a certain point of time before which you need to make sure that you have registered and entered the Party.

The invitation usually specifies the doors closing time which all should respect at all costs. Or else you may miss all the fun.

What Actually Happens at a Play Party?

The initial part of the party is quite proper in the sense that there is the registration, signing of waivers, if any, going over the rules and regulations, etc. After that, you may be introduced to the Dungeon Monitor who will probably show you around if you are attending for the first time. You can ask for a tour if nobody volunteers, to see what happens where. The organizers or the Dungeon Master will also inform you about the Safe Words and any other safety measures that have been mentioned in the Party policy. And be aware, you can find a sexy dominatrix here as well which can be hard to woo.

Contrary to most people’s beliefs, play parties usually aren’t just giant sex orgies. In fact, some play parties don’t even allow full nudity or sexual penetration of any kind. The activity at a play party definitely focuses on a lot of sexy, fetish things. That’s what most people are there for, to actualize their fantasies and find partners who want the same.

The type of play party set-up depends on whether you’re attending a huge event, a smaller event, or a private play party. But you can expect to see mostly occupied kinky furniture and props. Paired with loud music and people dressed in kinky outfits. You should also expect to see people enjoying kinky scenes throughout the party such as spankings, floggings, rope bondage, electro-sex, and more, which you can very much stand and witness if you are not in the mood for playing at your first Bondage Party.

Don’t worry too much about seeing anything too intense. At most play parties, any type of scene that is very graphic will probably be carried out in another area. If anything is especially triggering to you, notify the staff of the play party ahead of time. For involved scenes such as things that include blood or bodily fluids, staff normally has an idea ahead of time of what the couple plans to do, and they can help direct you away from that particular play area for the evening.

Read More: Red Flags of submissives in BDSM

Do’s and Don’ts to Carry at a Play Party

Do’s

• BYOT: Bring Your Own Toys but make sure it doesn’t look like a whole vacation luggage
• Bring your make-up and Clothes in case you plan to change at the party
• Do carry your Photo ID
• An Aftercare Kit

Don’ts

• Don’t bring in your Phone especially if the rules mention it
• Never carry a Camera unless pre-discussed
• Alcohol, too, is a subjective party item. Make sure to adhere to the rules of the Play party you are attending

Conclusion

If this looks like too many rules for you, just go with the flow, there is no need to go overboard but be clear about what you want and about what the rules of the Play Party state. Once you have a sense of all this, you can very much go all in and wild to get the most fun experience of your life. We assure you that your First Play Party will definitely not be your last. You will find a great community and if you choose to be active, you can gradually become a part of and make great connections.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q1. What is a bondage play party?

A bondage play party is a social gathering where individuals interested in bondage and BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) practices come together to explore their interests in a consensual and safe environment. Participants engage in various activities, often centered around bondage and restraint.

Q2. How can I find a bondage play party near me?

Online platforms, local BDSM communities, and fetish events may provide information about bondage play parties in your area. Ensure that the organizers prioritize safety, consent, and communication, and consider attending events with positive reviews or recommendations.

Q3. Is there a dress code for bondage play parties?

Dress codes vary, but many events have themes or specific attire guidelines. Common choices include fetish wear, leather, latex, or other outfits that align with the BDSM aesthetic. Check the event’s guidelines in advance to ensure you comply with any dress code requirements.

Q4. Are there rules for behavior at bondage play parties?

Yes, bondage play parties typically have strict rules regarding consent, communication, and respect. Attendees are expected to adhere to these rules, which may include no means no, respecting personal boundaries, and obtaining explicit consent before engaging in any activities.

Q5. How can I ensure safety at a bondage play party?

Safety is paramount in BDSM activities. Before attending, familiarize yourself with the event’s safety guidelines. Always communicate openly with potential play partners about boundaries, safe words, and any health concerns. Event organizers often provide Dungeon Monitors to ensure rules are followed and everyone feels secure.