Know it All: What is a Brat in BDSM & Tips for Beginners

Know it All: What is a Brat in BDSM & Tips for Beginners

It may not seem like it but the BDSM is an expansive magical land of kinks and fetishes. There is just so much that the term entails under its umbrella that it accepts almost everyone with a specific kink. The acronym stands for Bondage/Discipline Dominant/Submissive Sadism/Masochism. Clearly, there is a lot to it- kinks, preferences, roles etc. Out of these roles, the broader term mostly remains Dominant Submissive to refer to the power dynamics of a BDSM relationship. But there are various subcategories to it which people prefer subjectively. One such Submissive role is a Brat BDSM.

Brat can be a rude remark to make in a normal setting but when there is a BDSM context to it, there is a kink and spice that comes with it. We will be discussing the same in this article.

What is a Brat in BDSM?

In the BDSM terminology, a brat is the partner who acts out in behaviors and tones to get a reaction out of their counterpart. They are Submissives who use rebellious ways to provoke the Dom so that they can be disciplined by them. 

What is a BDSM Brat

This is a subcategory of Submissives which is adopted to raise the stakes between the BDSM Partners as there is a lot of passion involved by the end of it. The people who enjoy turning a Brat in BDSM are known to have a Brat kink. The various ways that a BDSM Brat behaves in order to provoke the Dom are following:


A deliberate reluctance whenever the Dom approaches them to indulge sexually is typical BDSM brat behavior. They will keep on pushing the buttons of the Dom until they employ extreme means to discipline the Sub. The passionate aggression after the chase that adds up to the sexual energy is one of the major factors that motivates the Submissives to behave like a brat submissive.

Edgy Disobedience

As part of a BDSM Dom Sub relationship, there are certain duties and responsibilities that the Sub must conform with, consensually. A bratty sub would push the limits of the Dom and refuse to obey the orders or call them names to provoke and force to punish the Sub. A lot of Subs who enjoy spanking also resort to such ways for a great Spanking session filled with humiliation, shame and aggression. 


Words are also a great tool for a BDSM Brat. They would deliberately speak when the Dominant has ordered them to stay quiet or annoy them with their words while they are doing something. They do this to gain attention of the Dom while they may be feeling ignored. 

What is a Brat Tamer?

The Dominant partner who is supposed to control and discipline the Bratty Submissive is known as the Brat tamer in a BDSM Relationship. They should be well aware of the behavior patterns of the bratty sub, which gives them a hint of whenever the Sub is starting to act out. This way, they can let them play with their limits until they are completely on the edge and then punish them real bad and kinky. 

What is a Brat Tamer?

The basic Punishment tools are sadism like Spanking, CBT etc but it could also trickle into the more daily lifestyle activities such as withholding their clothing control or orgasm control as part of the punishment. This constant give and take of passionate comebacks sexually is what keeps the spice in a Brat BDSM Relationship on.

Tips for a beginner BDSM Brat

If you have newly discovered your Brat kink as a Submissive or as a Dominant, you can follow the following tips to go about this in your existing BDSM Relationship.

Communicate Your Brat Kink

As a Sub, you first need to transparently tell your Dom before the BDSM Play that you are into Brat kink, in the sense that you like adding a chase to the whole Dom Sub BDSM Play. Explain to them what it means, be a good listener and answer all their questions and seek their consent keeping all these conditions in front of them. It is only after a detailed discussion that you should both finally agree on exploring BDSM Brat Play, if at all. It will definitely be a fulfilling experience thereafter.

Discuss Boundaries

As part of the initial discussion, you must also take note of the boundaries of both the partners. Even the Dom can put forward their tolerance boundaries or bondage safety when it comes to the brattiness, if some kind of behavior is totally out of bounds for you. 

As a Submissive, you can establish boundaries by specifying your punishment and pain limits. These should be Hard and Soft limits and both partners should respect it to run a healthy BDSM Relationship. Usage of Safe words or Safe signals is also advised to ensure that none of the partners feels uncomfortable during Brat Play BDSM.

Show them What You Got

Put on your kinkiest Brat behavior and challenge the Dom as much as you can. Push their limits, annoy, embarrass and harass them until they don’t give a reaction. Be clear on what your motive is behind displaying such behavior. 

Show them What You Got

If it is the thrill of the chase, add more elements to it by being more rebellious in a playful way. If it is the punishment that you enjoy, intensify it in a more mischievous way so that the reaction is equally voluminous. You could obey the orders in slow motion, threaten to not follow their orders and ask what they would do if you don’t comply in order to get a reaction out of them.

Keep Checking in

It is equally important to keep trying to judge by  the body language and the expressions of the Dom to make sure you are not taking it too far. This would only end up spoiling their mood and irritating them to the extent of not wanting to indulge at all. Keep it well within the discussed limits to have the maximum fun out of a Bratty BDSM Play. The motive is to be playfully rebellious, not downright mean. 

Also Read: Red Flags of Dominants in BDSM


We hope we were able to answer the question of What is a Brat in BDSM, with this above article. You can truly have a lot of fun with Brat play if done in the right way. It will push your limits, make you want to get a hold of the Sub finally and punish them however you like.

As a Sub, you can try running so that there is a literal chase followed by the rebellious behavior where you still resist being controlled by the Dom. This pacy heartbeat along with the passionate aggression will all pay off really well in the end. Lastly, just follow your brat instincts and innovate around it. Be authentic and you will definitely have a great time!

Lewis Joshua

Lewis Joshua is an author, sex educator, and BDSM expert. He has been working in the industry for over 10 years, helping people to understand the nuances of sexual exploration and empowerment. Lewis has written several books on the topic of sex toys and BDSM, which have become highly regarded in the industry due to their comprehensive content and insightful look into these complex topics. His work has been featured in numerous publications. As a public speaker, he regularly conducts workshops on issues related to sexual health and education. He is passionate about spreading knowledge on how to use sex toys safely while still having fun with them. His mission is to create safe spaces for everyone to explore their sexuality comfortably and confidently.

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