Questions to Ask in a BDSM Relationship When Trying to Get Pregnant

A friend once told me that the key to a successful BDSM relationship is communication. And while I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment, I would add that communication should also extend to questions – especially when trying to get pregnant.

If you and your partner also have decided that you want to get pregnant, and you’re both interested in exploring BDSM. Congratulations! This can be an incredibly exciting and fulfilling experience for both of you. It’s definitely not something everyone is comfortable with, but if it works for you then go for it, but there are some questions to ask so make sure to do it.

I believe, BDSM relationships are built around communication, trust, and respect. And while those are all important things to have in any relationship, they become even more crucial when you’re trying to get pregnant. After all, you are not just dealing with your own needs and wants anymore; you’re also taking into account the needs and wants of your partner (or partners).

So, can you carry your kink with pregnant BDSM? Are you looking for some BDSM questions to discuss with your partner before becoming pregnant? Well, guess you should keep reading this blog.

Trying For A Baby In A BDSM Relationship? Ask These Questions

Trying For A Baby In A BDSM Relationship

You and your partner need to be on the same page about your fertility goals, and you also need to be honest about your expectations, needs, and desires and how you want to have BDSM play, using sex toys like dildo vibrators, or want to do rope play. If you are in a BDSM relationship, there are some questions you should ask each other before starting or continuing to try for a baby.

What kind of pregnancy do you want?

What kind of pregnancy do you want

This is probably the most important question to ask, as it will determine the kind of pregnancy that you have. If you want a traditional pregnancy where you carry the child for nine months and then give birth, then that’s what you’ll need to focus on. However, if you are open to other options, such as adoption or using a surrogate, then those are options that you can explore as well. There’s no right or wrong answer for BDSM pregnant here; it’s simply a matter of what everyone is comfortable with.

What are your kink preferences?

What are your kink preferences

Pregnancy can be a time when your body changes in ways that you are not expecting (and sometimes in ways that you are). As such, it’s important to talk about sex and kink preferences before trying BDSM while pregnant. Will certain activities still be off-limits? Are there new activities that you’re curious about trying like doing sexual activities on sex chairs for little more excitement. These are all valid questions to ask and discuss with your partner. Remember, communication is key!

How will our kinks affect our ability to get pregnant?

How will our kinks affect our ability to get pregnant

The first question you may have is how your kinks will affect your ability to get pregnant. Unfortunately, there’s no easy answer to this question since every couple is different. However, it’s important to remember that as long as you’re having regular, unprotected sex, you should be able to conceive just like any other couple. There are no positions or activities that are guaranteed to reduce your chances of conceiving a baby, so don’t stress about that too much. Just focus on enjoying yourselves and let nature take its course.

How do you want to raise the child?

How do you want to raise the child

Some couples like to raise their children together, while others find that it works best if each parent takes on their own specific roles. There are also couples who choose to co-parent but don’t live together; this typically works best when both parents live close to each other so that the child can easily see both parents equally. Whatever arrangement you decide on, just make sure that it’s something that everyone is comfortable with.

What kind of financial support do you need?

What kind of financial support do you need

Pregnancy and raising a child can be expensive, so it’s important to discuss financial arrangements beforehand. Who will be responsible for medical bills? Who will take time off from work (if applicable)? How will childcare costs be handled? These are all important things to think about and discuss before getting pregnant.

Pregnant BDSM | Additional Questions To Ask

Pregnant BDSM Additional Questions To Ask 

  1. What are your hard limits when it comes to pregnancy BDSM and childbirth?
  2. What kind of role do you want to play during pregnancy and childbirth?
  3. Do you want to be involved in every aspect of parenting, or do you want to have some distance from the child?
  4. How do you feel about using medical interventions during pregnancy and childbirth?
  5. Are you comfortable with me being pregnant without being in a committed relationship?
  6. What are your thoughts on adoption?
  7. What is your opinion on bringing up children in a BDSM lifestyle?
  8. What are our hard limits when it comes to pregnant BDSM activities?
  9. What kind of role-play scenarios are we comfortable with?
  10. What are our safe words for uncomfortable situations?
  11. How do we want to handle polyamory, if at all?
  12. Do we want to keep our relationship private or share it with others?
  13. What are our thoughts on sex during pregnancy?
  14. What kind of support do we need from each other during this time?
  15. Is it safe to try Pregnant BDSM after 4 -5 months?
  16. What are our expectations for after the baby is born?
  17. How do we plan on discussing our kink lifestyle with our child as parents have to be equals in every matter?


Pregnancy is an amazing time for any couple, but it can also be a bit overwhelming. If you’re in a BDSM relationship and trying to get pregnant, there are some extra things you’ll need to consider. By asking yourself (and your partner) the questions above, you can help make sure that things don’t go out of line and that everyone remains safe, comfortable, and happy throughout the pregnancy journey.

Being indulged in BDSM myself, I know what it feels like to try to conceive a baby and still keep the kinky relationship ongoing. But I hope these questions (based on my personal experience) will help you and your partner if you actually need to conceive a baby or if there could be some other options to carry on your BDSM life. Hope it helps!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q1. What are some important questions to ask when getting pregnant in BDSM relationship?

When getting pregnant in a BDSM relationship, it’s crucial to ask questions about boundaries, limits, and consent. Communication is key in ensuring both partners are comfortable and on the same page.

Q2. How can I initiate a conversation about boundaries in a BDSM relationship?

To discuss boundaries in a BDSM relationship, start with open-ended questions like, “What activities are you interested in exploring?” and “Are there specific limits or hard boundaries you want to establish?”

Q3. What should be included in a BDSM negotiation checklist?

A BDSM negotiation checklist should cover activities, limits, safe words, aftercare, and any specific preferences or triggers. It’s a comprehensive tool to help both partners understand each other’s desires and limits.

Q4. How can I ask about a partner’s past experiences and trauma in a sensitive manner?

Approach the topic of past experiences and trauma with empathy and respect. Ask questions like, “Is there anything from your past I should be aware of to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for you?”

Q5. What is the role of aftercare in a BDSM relationship, and how should it be discussed?

Aftercare is essential for emotional and physical well-being after BDSM activities. Discuss it by asking, “What kind of aftercare do you prefer, and how can I best support you afterward?”


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